Elevator Etiquette and Operations

So here we are with the week end update and the topic is elevators.  Our friends in Jiaxing Terry and Geoff talked about in their blog being on the 3rd floor and having a guy with a motorcycle drive onto the elevator and take it down to the first floor.. Don’t ask don’t tell.  No idea what happened.  So this blog I am going to talk about elevators.  But i did want to add something about our sports day last Monday.  First we find out about it three days before its about to happen.  Next, there are no parents attending.  Why?  Because no one told them.  Thats right 750 kids marched off site and no parent permission.  We were supposed to do a field trip to a wildlife park.  Did we send a newsletter home to ask parents? Or to even tell them?  Nope.  Very strange. Anyways, we walk over to this huge soccer stadium.  We start at 7:30 in the morning and there is an hour and a half of opening ceremonies.  No personally I thought it was very cool.  Every class lined up, we did the national anthem which by the way is a great way to start the week.  Then the kids paraded by the grand stands stopping in front of the principal so he could wave and applaud the kids.  It was kind of cool.
Image Image What floored both Kim and I was the PE coach.  He was a tall dude wearing a 70’s style jacket that reminded of Starsky and Hutch.  He was standing on the field judging the 100m. races and smoking!  We couldn’t believe that the PE teacher would smoke right in front of the entire student population.  Great message for those young minds.  OK I vented enough.  Back to the elevators.
 Kim and I have talked a bit about personal safety and the general disregard for humans here at times.  We live in an apartment on the 20th floor and our school operates on the 6th floor.   Kim and I have made a conscious decision to take the school stairs daily while it’s cool out.  Walking them in the heat is out of the question.  The twenty floors at our apartment is a different story.  No pain, no pain!  So we are regularly taking the elevators to get out of our place.  I have looked and the elevator and it was last inspected in Nov 2011, so we are hoping it is due soon.  Now the elevators are made in Germany by a company called Schindler, so every day I have these black thoughts as I get into Schindler’s lift.  (sorry, I couldn’t resist.)  There are three elevators, and we named them.  The first one is bunny, because it has a bunny decal on the phone inside.  It’s our favorite.   The second one is poopy because a dog pooped in it one time and  the owner didn’t clean it up and the last one is the tower of terror TOT!   Kim and I won’t travel in this one anymore.  Only if we absolutely have to.  It has grabbed Kim once and wouldn’t let her go.  The release button wouldn’t work.  It trapped me inside for about five minutes even though the power was still on.  And it regularly traps people on the elevator to the point they force the doors open so the doors are no longer that safe. Yes, the tower of terror.  I have personally seen workers working on this elevator twice in the last month.  I don’t think it is dangerous to the point that we will fall 20 floors to our deaths, but I do wish to avoid being trapped in any sort of an elevator for an extended period of time.  Kim and I have this elaborate avoidance scheme that has worked so far.  If we are on our floor and the TOT shows up we simply step inside and press the button then jump out quickly.  The elevator goes down the 20 floors without us.  We wait until the elevator is on 19 and dropping quickly and repress the call button and another elevator will come.  If there is someone in the elevator, i will ask Kim did you remember to bring the (here we can insert an item like your passport, your bus pass, a hippopotamus, it doesn’t really matter these folks don’t speak English).  Then we scoot off back towards our apartment and wait until the coast is clear.  This has been very successful, but sometimes it takes us 20 minutes to get out of our place.   If we are in the lobby going up we do the same thing,  but instead of forgetting something we decide to check the mail.  One time there was another person who showed up at the last minute and took the elevator only to the fourth floor so we had to check our mail three times that day to get home.  Its complicated but it works.  Image
From left to right meet TOT, Poopie and Bunny.
My last comment about elevators has to do with social graces.  Kim and I have discovered twice in the past month that it is perfectly acceptable in Shanghai to loudly pass gas in the elevator when you are with 2 Canadians.  Really, spitting on the sidewalks is bad enough but farting in an elevator.  I could understand if there was no one in the elevator and you dropped an Odorous Oscar just before you got out so the next person would have a warm surprise waiting for them.  You’re not there so you can’t be blamed.  I would even be sympathetic to the poor guy who has been out to an all you can eat burrito place and he drops a silent Pungent Percival in a very crowded elevator providing he was quiet. No one would know it was you and you could look around at everybody with a scowl on your face.  “Who was the cretin that dropped that stinker?”. But this was not the case.  It was loud and there was just three of us; Kim, myself and the Boston strangler.  I won’t say much more about this in an effort to keep this blog somewhat more high brow and proper.  Suffice to say by the time we got to the 20 floor two thirds of the passengers in that car did not enjoy the trip.  So before we end it’s time for some more random photos of stuff here in Shanghai. Enjoy! See you next weekend!
Food vendors galore in front of the Shanghai Fabric Market.
Inside the Fabric Market.
Auntie Patti must have a hair dressing salon here.
They look after everything including the very popular Nursing Science.
When it comes to fashion… Anything goes.  Here are a few outfits that have gone.
This is pretty cool.  She is giving away samples of milk.  She has the milk logo on her hat, blouse, skirt, socks and shoes!
Short shorts are in.
Finally mix and match wear for people like me who have coloured impaired vision.
I love living in the downtown!!!  I have no problems sleeping near the busy traffic.
Neither does he!

3 comments on “Elevator Etiquette and Operations

  1. Thanks for that smile today! And all the different terminologies for your Gas Passers! I was going to say that fashion isn’t too different here in London either.

  2. Oh my gosh Bruce! I was laughing so hard reading this! Have a good rest of the weekend – miss you! Xo

  3. Oh my gosh Bruce! I was laughing so hard reading this! Miss you guys so much!

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